Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
