Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
