It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
