Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
