I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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