Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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