I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
