I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
