Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
