So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
be right there i have to get my cape
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
