it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
