Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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