Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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