fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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