I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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