take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
