Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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