If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
