Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
