mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
