haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize