My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
