I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
