Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
