it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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