so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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