to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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