Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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