I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
