The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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