Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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