this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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