butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize