sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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