Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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