I am puke
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
