you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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