I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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