But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
