would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
