Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I understand Curling. That high.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
