hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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