Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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