i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
