When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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