He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
