For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
