What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
