I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
