Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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