Having a random hookup so left but love u
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
