it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
