So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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