you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is it because I queefed?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
