I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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