I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
